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Patrick Star VS Dan Hibiki
Patrick Star vs Dan Hibiki is a What-if episode of Death Battle Description BIG. PINK. DUMMIES. Interlude Blade: There's red, there's blue, and then there's pink. Lion: That stupidass color for 5 year-''' Blade: Ahem! Today two pink dummies face off in a clash for idiot supremacy. '''Lion: Patrick Star, the best friend of SpongeBob SquarePants. Blade: And Dan, the creator of the Saikyo Arts. I'm Blade and he's Lion... Lion: And it's our job to analyse their weapon, armor and idiocy to find out who would win... a Death Battle. Patrick Blade: Bikini Bottom, home to the legendary Krusty Krab, SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward, Eugene Krabs... Aaand Patrick Star. Lion: Patrick is- OH HOLY SHIT! Patrick: WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!OWZ! WHERE- OOF! Blade: Is that Patrick Star? What're you doing here? Lion: Get out you fucking-''' Patrick: One question. '' Blade: What? ''Patrick: Who's Patrick? '''Lion: Oh fucking... I was worried about this. Patrick is forgetful, imbecilic and can ignore even GIANT things, walking straight past them. Patrick: Waaait a second... Blade: WHAT FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU FUCKING- Patrick: You didn't tell me who's Patrick! Lion: You. Patrick: Oh. Blade: Patrick can act like a 5-year old at times, being so dumb as to flat out IGNORE his surroundings. Lion: He's been in action a few times before though, so he's not blatantly pointless . He possesses a talent for-''' Patrick: Jumping! Blade: Well at least that was useful. '''Lion: Yup. Patrick is also somewhat stealthy, as shown in the episode with the Panty Raid. Apart from that, the dude's got a thing for guns. In Plankton's Robotic Revenge, he fires condiments, tartar sauce, exploding pies, pickles and waves of blue water. Blade: Patrick is accident prone, and nearly anything he does is gonna result in something or another. Like the time in the SpongeBob Movie where he destroyed the promotion stage after he flew into it. Lion: And apart from that, Patrick's got a superhero form which grants him the power of... ''ice cream? What the fuck?'' Blade: But eventually he's bound ''to screw up at some point, since he's ''Patrick: Oh look, I can actually do '''this:' (A Clicking Sound is heard as the sounds of Patrick beating the shit out of somebody is heard) '''Lion: Blade? Uhhh, either way, Patrick isn't useless per se, he's still battled several giant monsters and won, and is decent at basic Reality Warping so it's not like the dude really sucks.' Blade: That...hurt... Patrick: I'm sorry. Dan Patrick: Uhhh hey! This guy looks like a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy character! Lion: Dan Hibiki is the useless piece of shit son of Gõ Hibiki. Dan used to live in the dojo with Gõ as a middle finger to Gõ's mastery. Things were still... OK at best. Until... Sagat gets his eye ripped out by Gõ and brutally murders him Blade:... Yeah. Gõ was killed. Desperate to get revenge for his father, Dan sought out the legendary dojo of Gouken and... surprisingly found it. Lion: There he became the local punching bag for Ryu and Ken. Take that Dan. Blade: But eventually he got kicked out, but hey, at least the dude got some actual training. Patrick: I want his autograph. Lion: Dan is weak and a coward, the Dankuyaka is a blatant and shitty version of Tatsumaki Senpukya, the Gadoken is a Hadoken on drugs and well... he fucking throws autographs. Wow. Blade: Dan's still got a talent for taunting, as many of his taunts increase his air time and there's even... this. Dan shows off the Legendary Taunt Patrick: Huh. Lion: But even afterwards, Dan somehow... defeated Sagat. Blade... and Sagat let Dan win from mercy... which ruined the lives of children. Lion: That's right. Dan invented the Saikyo Arts and opened his dojo. And ever wondered about the pink gi? Yeah, that's from a laundry accident. Blade: Oh, wait, the Koryuken is a Shoryuken garbage thing. Lion: Yeah. Blade: But Dan isn't always useless. In fact, the reason Gouken threw him out of his dojo was because Dan was possessed. The Raging Demon is a soul-obliterating attack that the possession lets him do as Evil Dan. The first time he tried to use it, though... Dan tripped. Lion: But hey, he's been able to survive Vega's claw and beat a gang of thugs, Maybe he does stand a chance. Dan does a Legendary Taunt. Intermission Blade: Ok, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. Lion: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! Death Battle Patrick'': What?'' Lion: GET IN THE RING! Patrick: UNGHA! Patrick (To Dan): Can I have your autograph? Dan: Sure thing! he throws the autograph at Patrick. Patrick: OW! FIGHT! Patrick pulls out the Pickle gun and fires one into Dan's chest. Dan flinches and runs at Patrick doing the Legendary Taunt. Patrick's eyes scour Dan until he stops right in front of him. One intense minute later... Patrick: AAH! He begins running around Bikini Bottom, running over citizens and Spongebob s Dan chases him with Dankuyaku. In the Krusty Krab... Patrick enters and calms down. He. Orders a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob walks in. Spongebob: Hey Pat. Wanna Patty? Patrick: Sure. SpongeBob: Ok, right on! As he grills the Patty, Dan walks in and sneaks up on Patrick. Patrick: AAH! SPIDER! SPIDER! He picks up his seat and begins beating Dan with it, then runs of and brings back Squidward to whack Dan with, then SpongeBob. Patrick then runs off and brings in a bunch of guns and shoots Dan with them. Dan: Ohhhhh... Gadouken! The dizziness and inept Gadouken prevent Dan from doing anything to Patrick: Patrick then hears SpongeBob (who he threw back into the kitchen), say: SpongeBob: Order up! Patrick walks off to get the Patty as Dan lies un onions on the ground. Dan begins twitching and stands up. Dan: NO. I WONT FAIL FATHER! As Patrick comes back, Dan tries to use the Raging Demon on him, buuut Patrick shoots Tartar Sauce on him, and then he trips over a soda can. Patrick: Are you sad? Take some of this ice-cream. He turns into Superhero Patrick and hands an ice cream to Dan. Dan looks up at Patrick and sighs, then starts eating the ice-cream. When Patrick goes off to order another Patty, Patrick accidentally trips on the exact same can Dan tripped on and knocks it into a table, moving the table slightly and knocking down a soda cup. The cup spills the soda on the floor and rolls off, then bumps into a rope that slowly begins lowering itself. Dan looks at the rope as it slowly gets stuck on the back of his seat. The rope pulls upwards and causes him to hang from the ceiling. He tries to get off, but the rope slips on the soda can and sends him flying into the pole in the center of the restaurant, where he gets split in two. KO! Patrick returns to eat the Patty. Conclusion Blade: What a stomp! Patrick's better than Dan at everything! Lion: That's right! Patrick's so stupid that a little mistake would easily kill Dan. He's more experienced and stronger! Not to mention his accidents were a big threat! Dan thought things were going well, but those chances were split! Blade: The winner is Patrick Star. Next Time Trivia Category:Adopted What-If? Death Battles Category:LionKeybladeWielder Category:Joke Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:'Capcom vs Nickelodeon' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Colour Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Creature themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016